I spend a lot of time in awe of how homogenous the conventional wisdom is about weight, despite the lack of true homogenity of experience across obese people. It seems pretty clear to me that we don't all get to our pre-op condition the same way. We don't all have the same issues. We won't all find success with the same cookie cutter solution package and approach. Certainly there is a lot of common ground and we can create an intricate patchwork of our stories, medical history, and ideas that provides a rich quilted backdrop for communing and sharing support. I get hinky, though, when sweeping statements are made, because I know how it feels to be on the outside of them and how alienating it can be. And it happens all the time. I've been known to sweep a statement here or there myself.

My sister told me about how John Stossel (sp?) did a "Give Me A Break" piece recently that touted the old "push yourself away from the table and exercise" theory as a reaction to the increase in weight loss surgery patients, suggesting that surgical approaches are ridiculous. What I think is ridiculous is someone who is neither a doctor nor clinical researcher and has no direct experience with morbid obesity weighing in (pardon the phrase) on a topic with such certitude. Statistically speaking it's very hard to build case in support of a single cause of obesity, much less a single behavioural cause. Scientifically, the evidence clearly suggests that mapping the roads to obesity/morbid obesity is a complex process and its far too early for anyone to publish or promote a definitive atlas. As a human I am in awe that other people's choices bother him so much. And I am in awe that he feels empowered to offer such damning judgment, however ill-informed, so publicly. All I can do is trust that he is acting in sincere accord with what he believes he knows and hope that some form of enlightenment will be his sooner rather than later.

To my mind, much of the mindset with which obese people are battered makes about as much sense as telling someone who is depressed to just snap out of it and cheer up (in an exasperated and condescending tone of voice, no doubt) despite the fact that we now know that there are a variety of causes and types of depression. I cringe to think about how long that was exactly how clinically depressed people were treated. While I know that the power to change anything about oneself is within each person's grasp, that doesn't preclude the use of helpful tools and treatments of all kinds. I think it is part of the blessing of our creativity to come up with external ways to support our internal missions.

Worse even than the casual dismissal of something beyond the immediate resolution of the sufferer, cultural indoctrination and personal inculcation render many of us all too willing to take on the mantle of blame and accompanying shame cap (fringe optional) offered to us with little protest and plenty of head-hung apology. It makes my heart hurt to think about it. Our afflictions and limitations are so little of who and what we are. We are so much more!

Here's what I think: Not everyone has food addiction issues, trigger foods, a binging history, etc. Among those who do, not all subscribe to or will succeed by the same ideas about how to deal with them. Each person must approach herself as a work in progress and learn as much as possible about herself as part of the process of healing. This means experimenting, noting the results, adjusting or abandoning that particular experiment, and adding the conclusions to the information store from which we cull our tools at any given point. Flexibility and agility of mind and heart should be fostered to render us as able to respond to our changing needs as possible. Not only do I not believe that there is a single solution, I believe that each person's unique solution requires ongoing modification.

Speaking as a non-addicted person, I can share that a second-tier reason why banding appealed to me was the idea that I didn't have to write off entire categories of food. That was in keeping with my growing awareness that my body and being do not respond well to extremes, though they thrive on gentle and persistent effort coupled with copious rest and play. It was critical to me that whatever solution I selected involve a balanced and reaonsable "middle path" approach to the nutrition and pleasure that eating provides. For me, food is not an enemy, nor is it a pal. It's a necessary process that can be satisfying or even glorious with the application of mindful creativity, and which is also be enhanced by good company and special occasions.

I've never had a sense of guilt about eating (apart from one notable exception), though I have experienced discomfort when faced with meal partners who had an agenda menu they felt compelled to serve me (Appetizer? Concern. Soup Course? Sympathy. Main Course? Heaping Helping of Their Opinion. Salad Course? Tight-Lipped Righteous Judgment. Dessert? Pity, to be followed by ceremonial Washing of Hands.). To me "Bad stuff" comprises things that are poorly made, artificial, preservative-laden, or made from crappy ingredients. "Good stuff" is delicious, wholesome, satisfying, often fresh, and lovingly prepared. "Bad stuff" can include salads and "Good stuff" can include desserts. Definitions are adjusted over time as my needs, understanding, and body change.

Part of what appealed to me most about the MIDBand was the balanced sanity of the nutritioinst, Dr. Vicard, and his post-op recommendations. I don't believe that the band is intended to help me avoid eating sugar or fried food sometimes. I don't find it helpful to demonize entire categories of foods out of fear of them. If someone else does, and it works for them, I'm all for it ... for them. I'm only saying that it doesn't work for me.

Alternatively, I was encouraged to use a wide range of foods and to use spices, seasonings, and sauces to make them appealing. I was encouraged to eat in a relaxed setting, to include pleasure. I was encouraged to get as much of my nutritional requirements from food as possible and to minimize supplementation. I was encouraged to make small changes over time such that from one year to the next I could look back and feel pride and satisfaction about the ways I'd grown to be a better partner to my body. Clearly, this is as much based in culture as it is in medicine, but it makes good sense to me.

I don't drink soda because it made my belly hurt before I ever had surgery, I know that artificial carbonation is hard on the liver, and it's not as satisfying as water or freshly made juice. I'd much rather juice a fresh organic pear with some fresh ginger and half a lemon or have a glass of water than to drink soda. I avoid hydrogenated oils because they make me feel like crap and don't do good things for my body. I'd rather use organic butter, olive oil, applesauce or mashed bananas (for baking) or nothing at all.

I do eat flax seeds sprinkled on things because they are tasty and a great source of Omega-3 fatty acids. I do eat red meat because, along with my Floradix liquid, it helps me keep my iron at appropriate levels. I do use Ovaltine to mix up my powdered vitamins and cal-mag supplements because it has plenty of added nutrients, and they (the supplements) mix much better in milk or soy milk products than they do in juices or water and they taste much better if that milk tastes like Ovaltine. Is it a calorically dense drink? Yes, relatively speaking. It's nutritionally dense, as well. I have it three times per week (more, if my stress level is high or I'm feeling run down and need the B-complex) and I have the cal-mag alone daily, to the extent that I can remember to do it. I think the four-to-eight ounces of it I drink are very useful and not at all sabotaging.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are lots of ways to think about this stuff and lots of ways to work it and not one of us has an ultimate approach or truth that will fit everyone else with equal success. I like that some of the online message boards to which I belong are welcoming of our varied realities so that new people can find the pieces that fit them and craft their own success story with the help of our examples and support and ... what's the corollary? "old people"? ... that doesn't sound right! How about, "everyone else" can continue to hone their success plans and both offer and receive support and information.

Thanks for reading,
~M

Copyright 2003 Seasmoke All Rights Reserved