Exercise Mystery
When I do yoga (and some other kinds of exercise) I feel terrific afterwards, and sometimes even great while I'm doing it. Yet, I still battle the pre-exercise resistance. Do you know the thing I mean? That feeling of "Oh God. Yoga is a pain in tha ass. I've got to sweep the floor (I confess to being a bit anal about trying to keep my sticky mat clean), then put the tape in, then get my props, and then when it's over I'll be thirsty and maybe sweaty. Who needs the hassle?" Or, "Ugh. I don't want to take Grace for a long walk. I'll have to put a coat on her because it's cold, and I'll have to change my shoes, and then I'll have to find my sunglasses. When we come back I'll have to wipe her feet. I don't mind the exercise itself, of course, it's just that there is so much involved..." Of course it's crap. I mean, I could make settling down with a mug of tea and a good book sound every bit as inconvenient if I wanted to. (Dare me. Go on.) So, it's really about some weird resistance to ... what?

The part that really amazes me is that I know myself to be typical of our species in that usually when I get a happy pay-off, I become invested in recreating the circumstances that provided it. So, how come my brain can't make the connection? How come my brain doesn't respond to exercist like it's a DRUG and say, "WOO HOO Gotta get me more of THAT?

Back in my band days, I used to go through a similar resistance to getting ready for gigs, even though I had a blast once the music started. Sometimes I wonder if there's some misfire in my energy-conservation process. Could I be resisting the process of motivating a large amount of energy? Am I afraid that if I expend the energy then I'll be too tapped to do something else? It's not a conscious enough dynamic for me to nail down yet.

Meanwhile, I get to play good cop/bad cop with myself and that's always good for entertainment value. I promise myself that on any given day when I'm especially bad, there is always the threat of restraints... ;)


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